My arm covers my eyes as I flop down onto the bed. Hot tears coming sting as I struggle with failure. Again. A sliver of light sneaks under my arm, inviting me to lift my arm and look towards the brightness. Towards hope and fresh understanding. One of the hardest things we ever do… Read More
I was talking to a friend about invisible illness recently. Few people know just how much I suffer at times. Why? Because I choose to not live in a world of self-pity. Because I sometimes forget on the great days! I choose to be determined to live the richest life my body allows. I choose to… Read More
After getting my first bike in decades, I set a mental goal to be able to ride to our local library. Imagining the trip was easy. The sun was shining, the warm breeze gently blew my hair away from my face, and I pedaled with delight towards my destination.
Dear woman who struggles with her self-image, You, who encourage so many, sometimes fail to extend that love to yourself. You are uncomfortable in your own skin; self-critical of the perceived flaws in your body. I see you as you walk, adjusting your clothes. I see you as you pass the mirror, leaning in for a… Read More
Remember how intently we looked at our faces when we were younger? Critically analyzing every potential spot and wrinkle?
3 reasons cause me to pick up the phone and dial the mammography office each year. Their names are Kim, Kathy and Jeni. I don’t always call in the right month, though I used to. As the years pass, my penchant for orderly appointments gets shoved aside. My reminder letter, pushed to the bottom of… Read More
I hate my body. Everyone thinks I am their “fat” friend. I am worthless. There is no hope for me. I am ugly. I am a waste of life. Maybe it would be better if I wasn’t alive at all. My husband is traumatized if he has to see me naked. I am disgusting.… Read More
Addiction. We don’t like to use the word, it sounds like one reserved for “other” people. People with problems.
As a young girl, the “fact” that females had value mainly for their bodies, engraved itself in my mind. In my heart. It shaped my belief system. Stealing so much of who I was for too many years. The idea that big boobs and butts and impossibly thin silhouettes influence our self-worth? Tragic.
See this cute little five- year-old face? It belongs to my niece T. She is cuddly and giggly. Her imagination is fantastic and she loves to swim and take horseback riding lessons. She adores animals of all kinds, and holding her hand is a dimply little slice of heaven. Tumors grow on, or alongside,… Read More