Being vulnerable- confessions about an imperfect life

Tell me about your imperfect life, and I’ll tell you about mine.

Discouragement already flows in the new year, from women who just aren’t measuring up somehow.

Falling for the beautiful Instagram feeds of perfection and loveliness. Afraid to show their vulnerability. Fragility. Messiness. Illness.

Aww, friends, if only I could invite you into my living room for a cup of tea, a snuggly blanket, a flickering candle (cinnamon, of course) and a heartfelt talk. Being open and brave enough to be vulnerable is a GREAT thing.

Imagine an open door to my home… this is a safe place.

Being honest with ourselves

Would you consider yourself an honest person?

I bet you do. I certainly value truth as a core value. Yet, even in that desire, we sometimes forget to be diligent in weeding out imposters (untruths) in our internal dialogue.

Without regular “fact checking” about the words we repeat in our brains to our own, beautiful selves? Our viewpoints become clouded with flawed misinformation. Tainted thoughts.

We can challenge them only when we honestly assess them. A few lies we tell ourselves…

Being vulnerable about feeling like a failure

Girls, we can all fill in the blanks here. Oh, we are hard on ourselves when our humanity trumps perfection! My grandma used to say, “Christa, you are too hard on yourself. The only perfect person was Jesus, not you.”

It used to frustrate me to no end! I was sure if I tried harder, always harder, I wouldn’t feel like I failed.

We tend to think in terms of Good wife/failure. Good mom/failure. Good friend/failure. No middle ground, which doesn’t allow for real life.

Good news…we are enough, right now, and that is because God says so! It is a HUGE benefit to study up and understand how God sees us. It is markedly different from failure.

Being vulnerable about always feeling “behind”

We see people with admirable goals, lovely planners, spreadsheets with detailed plans for the year…and maybe we still aren’t even sure what year it is! The truth is, mapping out our intentions is a powerful way to live with intention.

But there is no perfect timeline. Our lives aren’t supposed to be just like someone else’s ambitious end goal. We are on a unique and powerful journey of our own.

It can be disheartening to feel behind, I get you…and feel that way too, but when those feelings surface? It is uber important to put the brakes on and think about why we feel that way.

Then, extend a huge dose of grace to ourselves and rethink our path. Life happens, delays occur, unforeseen illness or challenges alter our hopes.

None of this comes as a surprise to God though, the one who created us for a good purpose. Hear me…we are NOT letting him down if we get behind. We can shake off, restrategize, and move on. Guilt-free.

This year let’s purpose to be more comfortable with white space on our calendars. Seeing what surprises are in store for us, and for others, but being available.

Overcoming the fear of being vulnerable and having needs

This one is so hard to deal with. When we are sick, or struggle with chronic illness, or need extra help, or __________, it stings. Disappointment threatens our peace, as we convince ourselves that we’re somehow responsible for the ruination of other people’s intentions.

We want to be a blessing, and when we struggle it can seem like the opposite of that intent.

Have you ever had someone interfere with your plans, who had a genuine problem? Or the flu? Or car problems? Chances are, there was some disappointment…at first.

But how many times has that created an opportunity to help someone, that actually felt great? We like to help people…and here is what we need to remember.

People who love us? They want to give back. Relationships are reciprocal. Let go of the perceived fault.

Being vulnerable about our imperfect life blesses others

You are not alone.

You are not a failure, an inconvenience, or so behind that the future can’t be anticipated with a fresh approach.

If you were on my couch, cuddled up with me, I would tell you my own stories. Why and how I can relate to each of these lies (and how I sometimes still have to fight them).

Then? It’d be so glorious to share how beautiful an imperfect and messy, raw, unexpected life can be.

I’m living proof. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

You are precious, and that is the truth.