As my kids get older, the thought of letting them go into adulthood filled me with sadness. I love our little family. Some wise words from a friend impacted how I looked at things, and I asked her to share. I think you’ll enjoy it…

I’ve come home to an oddly quiet house, vowing to let my children lead the way in terms of communication, now that two of them are college freshman.

Avoiding the temptation to call yesterday and make sure they’d gotten out of bed on time, I was relieved to hear the familiar typewriter tone of my phone alerting me to a text message.

“Going 2 bed. Alarm set. ‘night Mom.”

What a relief…maturity and preparation, independent of me.

I’ve been asked if I’m struggling to see our boys off to college – “losing” 2/3 of our children in one full swoop. It seems the world expects a Mom to be a sad, worried basket case at times.

Am I a “bad mom” for thinking it’s an exciting time for our family?

Some say they cried for days. Not so for me. I’m happy, but have kept quiet about my feelings, not wanting to appear cold or overly enthusiastic about the prospect of having free time on my hands for the first time in 20 years!

Why should we not feel JOY knowing that we’ve prepared our children to get into college, move into God-given vocations, and manage their lives without our intervention?

Of course, I’ve wanted to walk them through this process

Outside of helping decide between renting or purchasing textbooks, and advising that dorm beds are XL (a plus for two guys over 6’4” tall), they simply didn’t want or need my assistance.

Both declined offers to help pack. Regarding move-in day, one said yes, the other no, when asked if they wanted us to tag along.

I will cherish pre-dawn moments of half-awake smiles and sleepy un-made faces captured in photos before their departures. Our middle son was the first to leave.

He kissed his little sister in her sleep, gave me an obligatory hug, and blessed me with a kiss I will cherish forever. Off he went…suitcase in hand, to fly solo across the country…

“I love you, Luke.”

He replied with the same.

I said, “Come visit sometime.”

He laughed and said once more, “I love you, too, Mom.”

He never looked back

A few days later, I traveled to Oklahoma with our firstborn.

At some point, the time for me to leave became obvious. Tim had made friends and social plans he was eager to get to.

I asked him for a kiss goodbye. Realizing he had pretty much forgotten I was leaving, he leaned back into the van for a hug and peck on the cheek.

“Bye, Mom. Thanks for the ride. I love you.”

That was it

Huge smile on his face; no tears on mine.

It wasn’t the tearful good-bye I’d been told to expect. This week I’d been the “safety net” he didn’t really need.

He disappeared into the crowd.

The lump in my throat subsided as I thought about what God had tasked me with. He had given us these precious children, entrusted us for their care, and expected us to prepare them for adulthood.

I believe their faith, character, and abilities are such that they will be fine.

My heart knows after 19 years of walking beside my children, it’s me who is being sent off to navigate this new world. They’ve made their way.

It’s time I return to my vocation as a wife and mother supporting their endeavors from afar.

That last night I checked into my hotel wishing I’d booked a red-eye, to get home quickly.

I took solace in the quiet, laid my head to rest and thanked God for ordaining a good “ending” to our life as homeschoolers.

With His help, our children had become independent learners who would likely succeed in the world. It’s time for them to enjoy what we once did as young adults, searching for a special place in the world.

I didn’t cry. Still haven’t, though probably will soon. For now, I’m just thankful for answered prayers.

Both kids text and call, seek advice, send pictures of breakfast and talk about dorm life. I guess it’s different for everyone. Some cry. Some laugh. We share the need to accept our children are grown and it’s time for us to find our own new purpose in life.

A dozen plus years of homeschooling has offered our family the flexibility to spend time together and experience the world in ways we never would have otherwise.

I look forward to a bustling house again someday where my children bring home stories, friends, perhaps wives and children, as we continue to grow closer to God and one another.

**Laura Vitkavage, married to her soul mate, Dan, is the mother of Timothy (20), Luke (18) and Miriam (8). She has homeschooled for 15 years, all over the United States. Currently residing in upstate New York, “Mrs. V” is now pursuing her passions for interior design and writing. She can be reached at: ljvitkavage@gmail.com