The Empty Nest Homemaker and Her Immeasurable Value

When my last child graduated high school, the time had seemingly come to reenter the (paid) workforce. There were plenty of comments supporting that assumption.

Now you can finally help contribute financially and give your husband a break
Now you can do meaningful work, for you
How could you possibly still find value at home?
Don’t you want to finally do something with your life (nutshell version)?

The truth is, I felt sorrow about reentering the workforce and saying goodbye to my full-time joy of nesting.

My home is a sanctuary. I love plenty of time for hospitality, and it delights my husband to see me enjoy creating a haven for him, and all who enter. That kind of caring is his love language.

I measured a job well done by the gifts of time I was able to offer. In short, I treasured the rhythm of ordinary days.

However, I bought into the guilt that the world (but not my sweet husband) seemed to place on me, diminishing the value of being an empty nest homemaker. Almost ashamed that I enjoyed this traditional lifestyle so much. What a ludicrous emotional conflict, but there it was.

This year, financially, it was necessary to get a job. Yet, being a mom and wife and homemaker was the best job I ever had. It was perfect…for me.

Valued roles of a homemaker

Traditionally, people often assign value to stay at home women for things like:

Childrearing
Caring for the home
Time for community service

These are a few stitches on the tapestry of our days, but certainly not an exclusive representation!

So much more still is here for the women whose children are grown and would love to enjoy feathering her nest in new ways. Our talents and delights can be well utilized in the home, if that is your passion!

These practiced skills don’t lose their power as we age. They mature and give us a broader vision of how to share them.

Joyful value of an empty nester homemaker

If you have the heart desire to continue on as a full-time homemaker, perhaps these 6 additional benefits might help you remember the value of what you have to offer.

That time of investing doesn’t return void. There are so many opportunities that your flexibility allows for.

Remember that there is no comparison game of “who is making the right choice”, because each of our families has different needs. All of the jobs we are given can be done with purpose and passion…in, or out of the home!

The gift of availability– when we purpose to leave chunks of time that are without commitment, we can look in a broader sense for needs that might slip through the cracks. Simple things perhaps, like a widow in the grocery store who could use some unhurried human interaction. Meals for a family who is suffering and not comfortable asking for help. The list is vast with possibilities!
Keep home as a sanctuary – home is more than a structure. It can be a refuge in storms, a place for celebration in joy. The passion for maintaining this environment is so very personal, depending on how each of us is designed. For some, this just isn’t your jam. You likely have other areas that spark delight! For me though, this was a dream that has only intensified as I age. Why? Because I have seen the power of unhurried attention over the years to change people’s days
Practice hospitality- this was an area that we invested in teaching our children the importance of. Hospitality is often misunderstood to be purely entertainment. No wonder tired mamas feel overwhelmed at the prospect! Instead, it is simply opening our doors and welcoming people. Open arms and hearts and a meal to share if you can spare it perhaps. It is about the invite. Offering a breather and a soft place to land in a busy world
Family needs- raising your children might be done, but there are ever-changing opportunities and commitments as our dynamics change. Aging parents might require extra time. Our adult children still benefit from the mentorship of an available mama. We might be interested in offering help with grandchildren. These examples show that family always needs what YOU can offer. Don’t believe the lies that your relevance has changed since you are in a new season. Only you can offer your arms, wisdom, prayer and love. And friends, even if it is “just” (ugh, as if) you and your spouse? Refuse to allow that to be discounted…it is a precious and wonderful gift. Love well the people God places in your path, and your home
Volunteer in places that can’t afford staff- is there a place that needs help and you’d enjoy filling in gaps? Animal shelters, senior centers, mentoring young moms, tutoring in adult literacy, civic organizations, advocacy in court for children…needs are always endless. Our unique dispositions allow us to offer time that many budgets can’t afford to hire out. This is a gift to us and the recipients
Pursue new dreams– this could be a fun time to develop a home business or create a ministry based on a passion you’ve shelved until more time could be devoted to it. If you don’t yet have a dream, spend some reflective time imagining what you’d do if you had no obstacles. FORGET practicality, just remember what you would truly love to do. What did you love to do as a child before someone told you that wasn’t “enough” for an adult-sized dream?

Empty nesters are homemakers with or without kids

Homemaking isn’t either/or…right/wrong. This isn’t a debate about working women vs. at home women. We must celebrate what each of us is called to!

Each of us are designed with different and unique bents and passions. Homemaking is one of mine, and if it is for you too? If you are able to pursue it… do it without shame.

Do it with joy and purpose and delight…and thanksgiving.

Douglas Adams said, “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be”…homemaking was never on my radar until I arrived. The dream I didn’t know I wanted until I was living it.

This is not my ONLY dream, naturally. That is a misconception too.

It is, however, an important investment to me as a place where strangers feel welcome, and so does my own family. Perhaps this next year will bring me home to be a full-time homemaker again.

Many of my dreams and goals are waiting for the investment of unhurried hours. New dreams.

For now, the best balance I can muster will have to do as I put my all into embracing the work placed in front of me now.

Find joy as an empty nester

Keep homemaking if that is your choice! And do it with confidence.

Friends, you contribute in countless seen and unseen ways. It is a personal choice, and please, don’t listen to the whispers that insinuate it isn’t enough.

That is 100 % false.

Keeping home at ANY age can be a gift, with any family configuration.

Enjoy the journey of keeping home, creating space. It is a beautiful and important purpose.

If this resonated with you, you might love my free devotional, Grace for the Stuck: A 7-Day Invitation to Slow Down and Breathe.

It’s a simple, grace-filled guide to help you slow down, rest, and remember that even in the blur of ordinary days, your life holds deep meaning.

You can grab it free here.