To the depressed Christian-10 Practical Ideas To Cope

This question came to me via email, by someone who came across my blog. She was looking for help-

My question for you, and what I find myself struggling with, is how exactly do I let God deal with it? This is what people say in the Christian community, and I’ve prayed over and over and He hasn’t dealt with it. Am I doing something wrong? How did you really give Him your depression so it could be healed?

I am humbled that you felt safe to ask me for some guidance here. I hope the words that come will offer at least a little comfort.

I’ve no formal training, no professional background to be clear. Just one woman’s story. And 10 practical ideas to help cope with symptoms of depression.

Depression makes people feel desperate. Alone. Failing. Defective.

When this question came to me, I thought long and hard about how to answer. How to not offer empty promises and jargon that just brings us back to the place we started from.

Without direction.

Is it wrong for Christians to feel depressed?

No.

Feeling depressed is so much different than true clinical depression. Unless they have direct experience, however, many are unable to understand the difference.

Are you putting on a smile so the world might be fooled?

Think you are losing your mind because you can’t “outthink” this struggle? Confused by conflicting theories about getting well? Embarrassed by those who would say this is a pathetic plea for attention?

You might just feel desperate, looking for the way to a healthy state of mind. You want answers, hope. Someone you care about might be drowning and you want to help but don’t know what to say.

What not to say to someone who is depressed

I know just how you feel. We don’t know just how someone feels. Let’s not insult them by saying we do. We can have empathy, understand the feeling of despair, but we don’t know “just” how anyone feels, and when we say we do, we trap them into speechlessness. Because it becomes, mistakenly, now about “us”
Hang in there. Perhaps the least helpful words of all. What does that mean? For a person with true depression, that is all they are trying to do. And it is not working. Empty words rob people of hope. They know you have no idea how to help them, and they might now feel bad to bother you with their struggle. We mean well, but depressed people don’t understand that fully, because they so badly want someone to understand
God will take care of you (but I won’t). These words are meant to be encouraging but often fall short. “How, exactly, can I receive this help from God?” they might think. And when they don’t see the answer, sadly they might misinterpret that to mean He didn’t care about their plight

How to encourage someone who is a depressed christian

I’m sorry. Empathy without answers is okay. With these simple words, we let people know that we sincerely care about their situation
I won’t give up on you. Depression causes fear that if anyone knew how “___” we were, they would walk out our lives. Reassure you are here for the long haul, but that doesn’t mean be an enabler. To walk alongside someone means we look for real, applicable ways to help
You are valuable, right now…no matter what. Depression blinds people to the countless other areas of value, their eyes are fogged in and they need to be reminded of their worth. Not as they were, or will be, but today

This is what people say in the Christian community, and I’ve prayed over and over and He hasn’t dealt with it. Am I doing something wrong?

I am a Christian. I love the community of faith, and when the model of Jesus’ love is lived out as He taught, it is a beautiful thing to witness. As in any community, people come from all walks of life. Background.

How should a Christian deal with depression?

Something troubles me, though. We forget that we are different and attempt to answer all questions in a set format. Christians are people, and sometimes we blow it.

There is a school of thought that teaches we should just think positive thoughts, and focus on Jesus. The end.

If our faith is strong enough, we might hear, then we will be healed. To this, I loudly say, bull.

Those principles are indeed important and part of a healing process, but something is missing in my eyes. Compassion. Have we forgotten that Jesus was an example of great compassion?

Before he said “Go and sin no more (go and be sad no more)” was he not already filled with understanding?

It is too generic to say to someone, “Just pray and God will heal you”. Sometimes He does, but this advice leads us to believe that we have failed somehow if we don’t see results.

ENcouragement for the depressed christian

When we don’t see the answers:

1. God might just be using your trials to form the person you ‘ll become

2. He might have answered, but in a way we weren’t expecting. So we miss it. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen

Don’t see results? Don’t give up on prayer. The most beautiful things can come out of the most difficult situations. I am just a human being, and could not tell you if you are doing something “wrong” dear reader, but I can advise you do something right.

Keep praying…then, LISTEN carefully for His response. We often forget that important piece.

How exactly do let God deal with it? How did you really give Him your depression so it could be healed?

Let me share something with you here, ridiculously vulnerable, but I know you are not alone in your question. When I began the struggle with depression, I wanted a way out.

An ending. A step by step answer to life a nice happy life. Real help.

That isn’t how it works.

We can’t buy an answer, beg a solution, get to where we are going without a journey.

10 Practical Ideas To Cope With Symptoms Of Depression

Accept this– things won’t all make sense to you in the midst of your battle, but keep fighting.
No one can do the work for you. And it will take HARD work, but the result can change your life. It will be worth it.
Sometimes we give God our problems and take them back. So we give, we take back. Learn to recognize your patterns and set yourself up for success. (1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you)
We can become weak and vulnerable when we give God our troubles and don’t fill up that space with powerful new ideas.
Be very careful not to fall into a pit of self-pity. Depression is real, it is hard, but it isn’t the end. Refuse to live as a victim and fill your life with joy at every possible turn.
Keep learning. Get help from a reputable Christian counselor. There are tons of great counselors that are not faith-based. The difference is key here. One might encourage fighting the battle by your own works. One will remind you that though you must fight, God is the one who heals. He fights with, before and behind you.
Study the Bible. Learn where the encouragement is; focus on those verses on the dark days. One thing I appreciate most about the Bible? It is filled with stories of people who struggled. Who blew it. Who questioned any and everything. There is nothing we deal with that is new or surprising to God. He isn’t afraid of our pain, our questions, our failed attempts. Those words are given to teach us, comfort us, call us close to Him. (James 4:8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you)
Be careful who you surround yourself with. Remember that when we surround ourselves with like-minded people, we are influenced by their views. Be it positive or negative. I can’t state this strongly enough.
If you need medicine to get you through while you are learning and living, there is NO shame in that. Riles me up to hear that false information. True, some use it as a crutch, not willing to do the work. For others, it is a life-saving tool. Only you know what is right for your health.
Be willing to be accountable. If you ask for help, and someone is genuinely helping you seek answers, be thankful. Sometimes accountability stings. Extend the same grace you hope to receive.

I gave God my struggle

Yes, I did give God my struggle. As a mom, a wife, a friend, a person plagued with chronic illness? I had plenty to give over.

But it was not an overnight healing. It involved much self-discovery, letting go of perfectionism, and hard work to become who I am today. And I am still growing.

You will too. It is a beautiful thing to “become” who you are. You can do this; just remember to fall into the arms of your partner. God.

Remember, I am NOT a professional, and I encourage you to see one if you are fighting depression. Just one woman, sharing her story.

**Please share this today. We all know someone who is struggling. I ask you for a favor, readers, if you know someone who can use this…forward it to them. If suicide is even on the mental radar, I beg you to stop. I promise things pass, read this for help