Children are such a blessing, people say. But on some days, honestly, we’d like to share those blessings with someone else and take a nap.
When those small people we adore so much refuse to take a nap. For three days.
When your child is THAT child in Target who decides right as you pull your long overdue grocery list out, that is is tantrum time. Screaming as they put their arms straight up, so we can’t pick them up. Then, everybody stares.
When we drag our weary Mama butts into the kitchen to clean up, again, and our blessings accidentally spill a glass of juice. Dripping sticky, gooey, orange liquid all down the table legs, across the floor, and somehow…it seems, even splashing onto the ceiling.
There are countless amazing moments of adoration and affection and laughter with our little ones. We appreciate each and every line and dimple as we study their magnificence.
And then, we have days where we are afraid to say just how close we are to tears. Because mothering is HARD work.
Just because motherhood is a high calling, doesn’t mean it’s bad to say that we struggle sometimes!
What is mom burnout?
You need to know that I get it. Get. It.
Being a Mama for 25 years, be sure that there have been numerous times where I blew it. Epic fails that plagued me with guilt for years.
I know that because you are reading this right now, looking for hope! Parents who LOVE, are parents who need fresh and reassuring comfort that they are doing a good job.
That is YOU!
(Pin this for later, and enjoy a free printable encouragement for moms by clicking here.)
You are not the only one
Once, on a very bad day with the kids. I was over the top frustrated. Sadly, because I hadn’t yet learned to not yell in anger, the air was thick with my bitter words. Their toys, still strewn about the room, were the final straw.
I stormed through and kicked their toys into the wall! (Read about my WORST MOM day here)
I still remember their shocked faces. Immediately, I was mortified. Devastated. Crushed. I made myself pay for years for this isolated incident.
What a waste of our time though! Did you know God promises to create beauty from the ashes of our emotional bankruptcy?
How do I get over my mom burnout?
If we want a nap and just a quiet reprieve…none of those things are relevant to what kind of mama we are! We are simply human. Those circumstances are incidents.
Do you know what is more powerful than incidents?
Showing up, again and again, to be a mother.
That, my friends, is what they remember. My kids have NO recollection of that horrible moment. They do remember the feeling of security that every hug, every protection, every encouraging word created.
They remember love. You are doing more than you know, for good! Just keep showing up…
“If you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” – Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Hope to heal mom burnout
Growing up my own mom had a needlepoint quote that I read often. It says,
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep. —Author: Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
I took that to heart, and it has been the truest of sentiments. My girls are young adults now and on their own. They are growing and learning and exploring their own lives.
They survived and so did I. You will too.
I just kept showing up, doing my best. You have littles still, and I know you get so burnt out sometimes.
But those everyday moments WILL add up to young adults that launch well because you just kept coming at it.
Mothering with a passion. Loving them as only you can.
And it will be enoughbecause God fills in all the gaps. Helping you forward when it feels like we walk through quicksand.
What to do when you’re burnt out as a mom?
Today might feel like you are a weary mama in the midst, yet, tomorrow is a new day.
One small step for right now-make a list of whatever “bad” feeling you have about your performance as a mom… get them out of your head and onto the paper. Then, spend time countering each item with a “good” quality you have a parent. If you are struggling with this part, ask someone!
When we get stuck in discouragement, we forget that our imperfections are ok, we are works in progress, right? Keep your paper (bonus points to write out scripture of who God says you are too) and whenever a negative perception pops in, practice replacing it with a truth♥ You are doing so much more good than you’ll see in the midst…
A prayer for mom burnout
Lord, please help me in my struggle.
When I feel like the worst parent, or define my worth by parenting at all? Please remind me that being a mother is just partof who you designed me to be. First, I am a daughter of the King. Keep my focus on you, not seeking to be the best mom.
Help me to see that what I do matters. That the mundane, ordinary, thankless jobs I do all day matter. I am weary and burnout threatens my emotional state today. I am desperate for comfort, to be the one whose hurts are nourished…when it is important for me to be that rock for the children in my care.
Love me gently, and reset my attitude. Heal my shame and put my failures into the categories you see them as…learning moments.
Heal any rifts with my children, give me the strength to be a mom who keeps showing up. Let my love be the first and last thing they remember each day. And when I blow it? Protect my heart from the enemy who seeks to destroy. He knows my weaknesses and wants to expose them, drawing me in condemnation.
Remind me that first clue that I feel guilty, isn’t from you. Correction and mercies that are new each day, those are your gifts. Thank you Lord for being a mother, for the joys and overwhelming love it has flooded me with…in the most amazing ways. You are the example of parenting that always extends grace. Thank you for giving it to me now, tomorrow, and forever.
Amen.
John 10:10 –The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness. (TLB)
Lamentations 3:22-24 –Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail.They are new every morning;great is your faithfulness. (NIV)
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Welcome Sara, thanks for being so honest. We need more of that, so we can all know that some days we blow it…but that is just a sentence on our story. So glad your precious boys verbalize their love. I bet that just keeps you going strong!
Hey there Janette! Glad they were an encouragement to you, isn’t that such an important gift we moms give each other? Just knowing someone else gets it…and believes in us. Thanks for taking time to say hi today!
Welcome Sara, thanks for being so honest. We need more of that, so we can all know that some days we blow it…but that is just a sentence on our story. So glad your precious boys verbalize their love. I bet that just keeps you going strong!
Hey there Janette! Glad they were an encouragement to you, isn’t that such an important gift we moms give each other? Just knowing someone else gets it…and believes in us. Thanks for taking time to say hi today!