When Life Is Falling Apart: Help for the Overwhelmed Mom
Help for the Overwhelmed Mom
I see you. Going to bed crying, wondering how to make ends meet. Compounded with growing children, inadequate financial support, and little help from family?
The epitome of overwhelm.
This makes it all the more important to start building the walls of sanctuary in a way that not only supports your kids, but also gives you more comfort and peace.
But it will have to be intentional. Your time is limited, and your stressors are so real.
I want to share five ideas to bring peace without adding more work or spending money you don’t have. Let’s work on clarifying what is missing, and then plug in the pieces to start building breathing room for your brain. Then we’ll work on some family dynamics.
These won’t fix everything, of course. But what they will do is let your heart take a breather from trying to remember everything, to coordinate all the needs, wants, work, and joys.
f you’ve cried yourself to sleep wondering how you’ll keep going, please know — He sees you. He keeps count of every tear you’ve shed (Psalm 56:8). Not one has been forgotten.
Let’s start with the tangible things first.
Building Your Foundation as an Overwhelmed Mom
Get a Planner and Map Your Days
While lots of people like digital, I recommend a paper one with a monthly calendar and daily spreads. Lots are on sale or clearance now. Check places like Home Goods. They have paper that feels luxurious, not like the cheap ones at other stores. Start with this tiny luxury, purely for the sensory comfort of your hand on something smooth without pen bleed-through.
Color-Code Your Life for Clarity
In this planner, grab various colored highlighters. I like to choose the same color palette for each month. For example, yellow is for appointments, purple is for birthdays. Write this out in each month, same color to build repetition. If you love stickers and decorating? Great! But this is a workhorse, so no pressure for fancy embellishments, okay?
Map Your Reality
Spend a little time each month writing these things on your daily pages now. What you have done is create an aerial view of your current daily life. This helps you see realistically where you don’t have time to add anything, and where you might reclaim time for our next step that isn’t being best used.
I am so bad at getting distracted, but this method has helped me so much… to stop adding things that I can’t actually handle, which then compounds guilt of “should” muddying the waters of actual needs.
Schedule Breathing Room for Yourself
Whew, that was a bit of work, but here is where it starts paying off. The old airplane analogy about putting the oxygen mask on yourself first? It is cliché because there is value in this advice. Self-care is NOT selfish.
Jot down a few ideas of things you enjoy doing at home (for starters). Don’t self-edit. Get them all out. Because your time is largely spoken for, this is where it can be helpful to estimate how long each thing might take. Sewing, 1 hour? Baking, 30 minutes? Watercolors, 15 minutes?
Set one of those highlighter colors from step 2 and designate it just for refueling your tanks. Try to pick one thing that you can add next week. Then, as you become more practiced at claiming a little time for these joy adds, perhaps you can start making a weekly appointment with yourself to do it.
As you do this, remember:
Set the bar low
Your time is likely spread thin. We tend to aim super high, don’t we? This is a time of recovery and tenacity. When you celebrate these easy wins, they will build upon themselves, and you’ll have a date with your own refueling hobbies that you can look forward to. And while imperfect, it is a step forward!
These are the practical life vest in rough waters steps. Now let’s turn to emotional things.
Finding Calm When Life Feels Like It’s Falling Apart
Your heart is tender, and without the support you crave, things might be hard right now. But please, take courage.
Consider counseling if you can swing it
That can feel uncomfortable and scary. Being vulnerable isn’t easy, but it helped me immensely, and I wish I’d done it decades sooner! A good counselor can give you emotional tools for your toolbelt to handle your unique situation.
Limit Comparison and Curate Your Inputs
Get off social media, at least for a time.
This is a terrible time for comparison, and besides, it is imperative to remember that many feeds are curated highlight reels. While designed to inspire and encourage, they can have the opposite effect when we already feel like our homes, our lives and relationships are “less than.” Doom scrolling could be its own category.
News has a way of finding you. Right now, please know it is good and right to tend to your own immediate world. And remember, bad news sells. Good news is all around us! But it seldom makes the top unless we look for it.
While I create content, I try to be raw and fluff-free when it comes to heart issues. A beautiful kitchen has lovely merit, but to a hurting woman? For a season, it can greatly benefit you to step away.
It isn’t an escape if it doesn’t offer hope.
And if you don’t feel ready for that step, curate your feed to only show you things that DO bring you a smile.
Choose good company
Have you ever noticed that people who complain, for example, or gossip, enjoy fraternizing with people who also engage? But people who look for the good and find people who also do? That is a group that can bring life to your conversations.
Perhaps lately you have had MORE than your fill of negativity. Custody, child support, family that won’t help when you are in crisis?There are people that will love you into healing. Limit your time with cheer suckers and seek out community with people who see life through a lens of possibility.
I have long learned to wear my hard-won rose colored glasses, and that has changed my life in the best of ways.
Gentle Family Strategies When You’re Overwhelmed
Whew, you have done the hard thinking now. Here comes the fun part!
Moms carry so much guilt and shame about our parenting, right? The truth is, you CAN’T be perfect, so it is time to start creating a new narrative in your brain of what is wonderful now, right where you are.
If you ask my adult children about the best part of their childhood? One recurring memory will come to their minds: designated family time.
Most weeks, we had game night. Gathered around the kitchen table, our little family set aside the rest of the world and enjoyed each other’s company. Laughter, a snack, and a happy bedtime created a framework.
This was a purposeful choice, and it was powerful. This foundation of a simple game created joy. Stronger bonds. Security.
How could a game do that? How can you do this too? That planner has just paid off. A color just for family time, whatever favorite (and realistic for your bandwidth, currently!) activity you guys like. This is worth your time.
This is not about the ideal picture-perfect family on a Hallmark movie. It is about you and your kids right now. That is enough, it is beautiful, and I believe in you. ♥
What my kids didn’t know is that it was not easy for us to make this happen.
There were sacrifices made to keep this up. Enormous parental weights of how to keep the lights on, buy them clothes, give them a sense of safety in the midst of many moves, starting over? It wasn’t a time slot that simply appeared with no effort.
It was a plan, and it offered a place for levity. Lightheartedness. Connections.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Choose one thing, one night. It gives everybody something fun to look forward to.
This is a step, just a step, towards creating traditions that will carry you forward.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”— Matthew 11:28
Gratitude and Tiny Victories: Your Most Powerful Tools
This is a challenging season, and it will pass. There might seem no clear solution in sight, but hopefully these ideas can offer a bit of hope.
Ann Voskamp once wrote a book in the midst of despair called One Thousand Gifts. In it she recommends starting a notebook. A simple composition book is perfect. Begin with the smallest thing you can be grateful for in this moment. What seems ordinary. Write it down. And when you start listing out things you are thankful for?
Something magical happens. In time, it becomes impossible to stop.
This is a challenging season, and it will pass. You are doing better than you think. Take it one small step at a time.
Disclosure: I only recommend products I do/would use myself. This post contains affiliate links that at NO additional cost to you, may earn me a small commission to help support this blog.
A Gentle Gift for Overwhelmed Moms
Life can feel heavy, and sometimes we just need a tiny, kind nudge to help us take the next small step. That’s why I created a 7-day reset called Grace for the Stuck … perfect for moms who are exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in the day-to-day.
What You’ll Get
Seven gentle prompts, one per day
No homework, no pressure — just a tiny thought to guide your day
Helps you pause, breathe, and reclaim a little calm in your life
Why It’s Perfect for You
Even if your days are full and your to-do list never ends, this reset fits in. It’s tiny, manageable, and designed for overwhelmed moms who need grace, not more tasks.
