Being stuck In Between and thriving

My feet were planted across a chasm, one on the canyon wall of my old life, the other on the wall of today.

I was slipping.  Struggling to stay true to my courage and my family. Determined to find joy, when I simply wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

It began the year our dreams were destroyed.

And though, that was not the case in a larger scope, the intensity of those days was dark. Smothering.

Faith but a flickering light, the teasing light that you see and then strain your eyes to focus on again.

We had sacrificed much, yet God had another stepping stone to alter our path. We had comfortably, finally, settled into the place we loved. For good. Forever.

When the steps seem too far apart

Then it came. The call, and the end of the job. The change. The move. The beginning of another “in-between”.

I felt a kinship with the Old Testament characters. God’s whispers surrounding me with undeniable clarity.

Leave your people, leave your land, leave what is loved and follow Me. I have a plan for you…

Grasping for comfort in the in between

There was nothing simple about that season. No comfort except my trust that what God says is true. Always.

So I desperately grasped for that comfort and shared it.

Doing what I always do, making a home where we were, teaching my children to watch for what was good and beautiful, and supporting my husband.

Weeping into his shoulder when the kids weren’t nearby, weeping on my knees when alone with my God.

Yet, my trust did not falter. Dogged determination to make “good” this life ushered me into the season of waiting and listening.

We don’t get all the answers during in between seasons

Many answers have come, some remain unknown- but in the gap of knowledge, my strength grows. The purpose for this season is crystal clear.

The in-between time is over. It is a breathtaking place to be, this knowing.

The unforeseen gem of that waiting period is this: those seasons will assuredly come again.

It’s nice to know there’s a big world with many perspectives. I tend to get so stuck in my own small world easily, and going out into the world reminds me that I’m not the center of the world – in a good way- Mitski

Don’t fight the waiting. Lean into it, put your face to the bitter wind and wait. The storm will end, the sun will come out and the breeze will caress your face.

The storm will end, the sun will come out and the breeze will caress your face.

There are lessons that will change everything you think you know about yourself. Don’t be afraid. The wait will yield a joy unimaginable without the sorrow.

Resources to fight comparison:

Without Rival: Embrace Your Identity and Purpose in an Age of Confusion and Comparison

Authentically, Uniquely You Study Guide: Living Free from Comparison and the Need to Please

Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Contentment

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