When will I be beautiful? overcoming body image issues
When will I be beautiful? overcoming body image issues
As a young girl, the fact that females had value mainly for their bodies, engraved itself in my mind. In my heart.
It shaped my belief system.  Stealing so much of who I was for too many years. And it was learned, purposefully exposed to me as an example.
The idea that big boobs and butts and impossibly thin silhouettes influence our self-worth?
Tragic.
Two years ago I made powerful strides. Breakthroughs. But didn’t totally fix the problem.
Why do I struggle with body image?
You are not enough. Your body is ugly, and you are a failure because it is YOUR fault that it got that way. You can never be a beautiful and worthwhile woman unless you are thin. Your chins and belly make you a disgrace.
Or on the other spectrum, Why are my arms so scrawny? These chicken legs are so unsexy. If only I had more cushion…
Even on the road to long-term recovery, some old beliefs wormed their way back into my life. Temporarily crushing me.
While dress shopping with my Mom the other day, she said: “I wish I had your confidence”.
But hear me, sisters… there will be no standing still.
No stagnant living.
You know what I mean. The winter spare tire, the apathy, and postponement of healthy choices.
Waging war in defense of our own body
It is so very hard to change the lies you’ve heard. To shut off our own brains, when we tend to believe the ugly words.
Perhaps that accounts for why my last body image post is still among the most popular on this blog.
The truth is, sadly, that I knew very few (if any) women that embrace their body. That live in gratitude for its continual gift of movement and life.
That needs to change.
Let’s wage war for our bodies, instead of against them.
We are amazing creatures, God’s own design.
He celebrates and sings  because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love–Zephaniah 3:17
This disbelief that we are possibly enough now? It is a powerful weapon that we use –against ourselves!
No more.
We have daughters who listen; what are they hearing? We have girls who look up to us; what are we teaching?
If we are blessed to have life partners…does our battle with body image affect our marriage? You betcha. In more ways than we can understand. (I could write many posts on this alone!)
We are beautiful to God right now
No matter what. Â The Bible is full of promises about His devotion to us.
We are enough now. Beautiful now.
Because we are made up of so much more than the frame that holds us. It all radiates from the inside out, and every single woman can cultivate that.
Proverbs 31:30 Charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn’t last, but a woman who fears and reverences God shall be greatly praised.
Come with me… embrace who you are today.
What are your thoughts, is this an area you have struggled in?
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I love this post, Christa! You are so right. I’m going to try to, as you so eloquently put it, “live in gratitude for (my body’s) continual gift of movement and life.” What a great perspective!
“We are beautiful to God right now.”
Thank you Christa.
My biggest pet peeve, is the marketing of hair dye. Look younger, hide the gray. Don’t admit you are getting older. And — getting old is ugly.
I met a woman yesterday who found three gray hairs on her head. She was mortified and immediately bought a box of hair dye and dyed her own head. She was horrified.
Your writing blesses me. I am going to run upstairs and look in a mirror and say, “Hey beautiful.”
xo
Pamela
Thanks for sharing Pamela, wow…three hairs seems so long ago. It is a tough road to accept what we actually look like in today’s beauty economy. You go girl!
Thank you for the encouragement. It’ s very difficult to change a lifetime of false beliefs about yourself and others. One of the things that I’m trying to focus on is that beauty is really about how you present yourself and how you treat others. A friend shared a story about a woman who exuded beauty because of the way she treated herself and others, and I shared it in this post because it encouraged me so much – http://calmhealthysexy.com/choose-to-be-beautiful/
Keep preachin’ it , sister! Some of us desperately need the reminder. Just the other day I looked at a photo of myself and thought, “Wow. I really am kinda hideous.” I go through seasons where I can hardly look in a mirror. I’m not sure how to break away from the inner negativity where my appearance is concerned, but words like yours are a balm to meditate on. Thank you for this. Grace and peace to you, my friend!
This is something that I have long struggled with. My first marriage left me believing that not only am I a bad mother but lacking in the beauty department as well because I wasn’t curvy in all the right places. My mother in law has a cute saying: “When God was giving out breasts I heard rest and went to sleep”.
When I met my now-husband he thought I was pulling his leg when I told him I am ugly. Since then there isn’t a day he doesn’t greet me with “Hello Beautiful”. He gets upset when I say I don’t feel like it. In a way I have come a long way since my first marriage and no longer see myself as ugly. But I still have a hard time accepting compliments and there are days when I can be extremely self-conscious. I am working on it though. One day at a time.
Funny, because I think you are beautiful…the more so the more I get to know you:) In our house full of preschoolers, we try to focus our body language on what our bodies allow us to do…I have a four year old I watch who will casually mention to me that her legs are “thick” or her tummy is “too round” (she is perfectly healthy!) so we try to focus on what her legs allow her to do well (like running faster than her friends, or kicking great soccer goals), and how her tummy holds the rest of her body together, etc. I don’t think she has serious issues, but it’s sad how the language sneaks into even a preschooler’s mentality about her body.
Thank you Morgan ♥ That makes me sad too, how fast little kids pick up that stuff. It encourages my hear to think how you are encouraging her. THAT is a blessing
I love this post, Christa! You are so right. I’m going to try to, as you so eloquently put it, “live in gratitude for (my body’s) continual gift of movement and life.” What a great perspective!
Great, we can keep each other accountable! Be blessed Julie
“We are beautiful to God right now.”
Thank you Christa.
My biggest pet peeve, is the marketing of hair dye. Look younger, hide the gray. Don’t admit you are getting older. And — getting old is ugly.
I met a woman yesterday who found three gray hairs on her head. She was mortified and immediately bought a box of hair dye and dyed her own head. She was horrified.
Your writing blesses me. I am going to run upstairs and look in a mirror and say, “Hey beautiful.”
xo
Pamela
Thanks for sharing Pamela, wow…three hairs seems so long ago. It is a tough road to accept what we actually look like in today’s beauty economy. You go girl!
Thank you for the encouragement. It’ s very difficult to change a lifetime of false beliefs about yourself and others. One of the things that I’m trying to focus on is that beauty is really about how you present yourself and how you treat others. A friend shared a story about a woman who exuded beauty because of the way she treated herself and others, and I shared it in this post because it encouraged me so much – http://calmhealthysexy.com/choose-to-be-beautiful/
Gaye, I enjoyed reading the post. Reflecting on the lady at the pool was a great way to keep perspective!
Keep preachin’ it , sister! Some of us desperately need the reminder. Just the other day I looked at a photo of myself and thought, “Wow. I really am kinda hideous.” I go through seasons where I can hardly look in a mirror. I’m not sure how to break away from the inner negativity where my appearance is concerned, but words like yours are a balm to meditate on. Thank you for this. Grace and peace to you, my friend!
Isn’t that a shame when we realize we felt that way? Esp. when we look at each other and see such beauty (you ARE a beauty). Thanks for reading Rebeca
You have always been beautiful, dear!!!
Awww you aren’t biased, are you? ♥
Powerful
Thanks La, praying you feel beautiful today
This is something that I have long struggled with. My first marriage left me believing that not only am I a bad mother but lacking in the beauty department as well because I wasn’t curvy in all the right places. My mother in law has a cute saying: “When God was giving out breasts I heard rest and went to sleep”.
When I met my now-husband he thought I was pulling his leg when I told him I am ugly. Since then there isn’t a day he doesn’t greet me with “Hello Beautiful”. He gets upset when I say I don’t feel like it. In a way I have come a long way since my first marriage and no longer see myself as ugly. But I still have a hard time accepting compliments and there are days when I can be extremely self-conscious. I am working on it though. One day at a time.
Ana Lyn, that is a funny saying 🙂 Your husband is a great guy to love his woman like that! I am so glad you have someone to lift you up!
Funny, because I think you are beautiful…the more so the more I get to know you:) In our house full of preschoolers, we try to focus our body language on what our bodies allow us to do…I have a four year old I watch who will casually mention to me that her legs are “thick” or her tummy is “too round” (she is perfectly healthy!) so we try to focus on what her legs allow her to do well (like running faster than her friends, or kicking great soccer goals), and how her tummy holds the rest of her body together, etc. I don’t think she has serious issues, but it’s sad how the language sneaks into even a preschooler’s mentality about her body.
Thank you Morgan ♥ That makes me sad too, how fast little kids pick up that stuff. It encourages my hear to think how you are encouraging her. THAT is a blessing