Why Staying Connected With Grandparents Is Worth the Time
Staying connected with grandparents isn’t always easy, especially once grandkids grow up and life gets busier. I was reminded of that recently at lunch with some elderly friends, when the subject of the joy of being a grandparent came up…with a twist.
One of them, usually lighthearted, grew quiet. His eyes clearly showed sorrow, as he lamented that his grown grandchildren don’t have time for him anymore. They have their “own” lives and outgrew them.
I hear this ALOT, and it always grieves my heart. (To be fair, the grandkids possibly don’t feel that at all!)
This is such a common ache between generations, grandparents feeling forgotten, grandkids feeling stretched too thin to reach out, that I wanted to share what I’ve learned about staying connected to grandparents as we all get older and busier.
Grandparents are people. Interesting people who have lots of unique experiences to share about their history. And wisdom. (This is my resourceful Grandpa in the photo mowing grass with a child on his lap haha).
Grandparents LONG to be invited into their grandkids’ lives, and can make wonderful friends.
The elderly are gifts. Sometimes they are neglected. NOT by intent, but by demands from our own lives that are still busy.
“Love is the greatest gift one generation can leave another.”– Richard Garnett
How to Stay Connected With Grandparents as an Adult
Here are a few things I’ve learned from these conversations:
1. See them as people. Not just for what they offer as grandparents, but as people who have interests. Fears. Jokes. Ask them about themselves…
2. Invest time in them. To grandparents, it literally grieves their hearts to have their grandkids grow up and lose the magic of seeing them. They want you to WANT to see them, not to feel like a burden (here are simple ways to connect when our love languages are different ♥).
3. Know that texting isn’t quite the same. It’s a fun “extra,” a delight, but it doesn’t replace time or a phone call for most grandparents. They often can’t see well or struggle with technology. If able, meet them where they’re most comfortable. Usually, that’s the telephone 😊.
Even in my own life, hearing my young grandson’s voice warms the deepest part of my heart. Conversation is a huge gift to offer. And if you’d rather connect another way, offer to teach them, like a quick lesson on FaceTime, so they feel comfortable trying something new instead of feeling left behind by it.
Regular communication matters for reasons beyond the obvious. It tells grandparents they’re thought of, even amid a busy season. It lets them stay part of your life, not just hear about it secondhand. And sometimes, honestly, they just want someone to talk to. As one writer put it, “giving them a call also allows you to check in on them and make sure they’re doing well.”
Why Staying Close to Grandparents Bonds the Generations
In a healthy family, we’re used to our grandparents being there “for us”…and they’d appreciate reciprocity as they age and we become adults.
It can be hard, when our generational age gaps and experiences make it challenging to know what to say. Here is a printable list of questions to bridge generation gaps that could be a starting point.
“Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.”— Lois Wyse
This is NOT a guilt trip. Just a heart share. The onus is not on grandkids to do all the relational work, of course, but perhaps understanding grandparents’ point of view helps those relationships grow even stronger ♥.
At the end of the day, staying connected with grandparents doesn’t take grand gestures, just small, consistent effort.
P.S. And grandparents? Please don’t give up, we are all learning and it’s all worth it… here are ideas from The Long Distance Grandparent to help you connect with the grandkids you love so much.
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