Stop complaining – 3 suggestions to be more content

Stop complaining – 3 suggestions to be more content

Life stinks from time to time. The only thing that can suck worse than our situation, is our attitude.

Recently, someone closest to my heart called me out big time for complaining. The words felt like daggers as the tears fell from my eyes, but even then…this person knows how much I purpose to be content. My tolerance for complainers is pretty low and I was a chief offender.

I was losing it, and in her frustration, she made it clear that I was falling way short. It hurt, but was a jarring realignment my tongue really needed.

In Philippians 4:11, Paul tells us, “ I have learned to be content in every circumstance”.

Well, Paul, you bring hope that we too can learn. I m not a master yet of this concept, but am indeed a warrior in its pursuit. Where do you fall on this continuum?

Fear and discomfort and remorse and unasked for change can all shake our ability to naturally feel grateful.  We are all works in progress, and can always turn things around if we are stuck in a complaining rut.

Why should we stop complaining?

I certainly have been complaining way more easily over the last few seasons. And to be honest, it sucks. For me, and those around me. Circumstantial depression just freiggin’ rocked my world. But…

Do you think we have a right to complain vs. be content? Let’s look at some of the effects each option has on our lives…

Complaints:

• Makes people uncomfortable around you
• Set a bad example for our kids to follow
• Hurt our spouse’s heart when they can’t meet our needs
• Build upon each other to make us ungrateful
• Cloud our vision of all that we have to be thankful for
• Waste time we can’t reclaim on trivialities
• Steal our joy, every time

Contentment:

• Is a work in progress, it builds upon every positive choice
• Alters our perspective to see things through a grateful lens
• Teaches our children to not always want
• Encourages others to find hope in our faith journey
• Makes the majority of our days feel like wins instead of challenges
• Promotes harmony in our households
• Retrains our thought processes to think less of self
• Brings peace to our spirit and those around us

How to become more content in our circumstances

Perhaps the answers lie in challenging our perspectives. Frequently, thoughtfully and honestly. There are people who live in tremendous and unfathomable conditions around the globe. Yet, they can often be found with a smile on their face and gratitude in their countenance.

They are not immune to suffering, however, they choose to celebrate the tiniest of gratitudes.

While certainly there is much to complain about, their example of hope and trust in God’s promises is incredibly inspiring.

What happens if you keep complaining?

Disappointment.

Things are not always going to go our way. Our children move, our parents age, our finances can disappear, our house falls into disrepair, our spouse disappoints, or our jobs are eliminated.

These are real and hard things! They also can be catalysts to look deeper into the things that really matter.

We, you and I, get to CHOOSE what we focus on.  Do we want to waste time complaining…or consistently pursuing the art of contentment?

Only one of those choices will lead to joy.  Disappointment is normal, part of being human. What we DO with that heartache is where the practice of contentment comes in and becomes second nature. When we invest in seeing the good, it naturally starts to become our go-to emotional action.

We, like Paul, can learn to become content in every circumstance. It’s all about the focus.

How to stop complaining

When we need a boost to help us turn out thought process around, here are three simple but powerful suggestions.

Create an ongoing and detailed list of things that are good– Nothing is too small. The person who held the door open, a bird that lands outside your window, the smell of cinnamon in the air, an unexpected hug. These things become the new lens to view our circumstance

Make it about other people, not ourself– Whaa, whaaa. You know how we get tired of hearing our complaints? So does everyone else. An easy way to get out of a slump is to determine every morning how to be a blessing to someone else.  Focusing on others doesn’t leave room to relentlessly whine to ourselves about our own story

Focus on God’s word– Ask (and record the answers), what is God providing? Challenging me on? Offering an opportunity for? What do His promises say about this situation…versus what my brain/heart says?  What does His word direct me to do? Time spent with God never returns void

Why you should stop complaining

There is ministry in the zipping of our lips.

Imagine the power in our daily struggles if we pursued the fine art of contentment?

There is a great big beautiful world around us. We don’t have to pretend that all is fine when we face hardship!

That said, when we come into each hardship with a finely tuned determination to find the good? We see things differently. Joyfully.

Constant complaints only allow us to see things through a “me” centered filter. Let’s begin the ministry of zipping our lips, and being promoters of gratitude!

One last thing comes to mind. We live in a culture that is saturated with public negativity. It can become a habit to be discontent, simply from societal influences.

We can guard our hearts against complaints as the “norm” by being a light in the dark. The ones who look on the bright side and determine to be awe-inspired.

That too is a choice, a sacred act, that contributes to embrace the beauty of an imperfect life.

Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Resources to encourage you:

• No Complaints: How to Stop Sabotaging Your Own Joy
• Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude: Gratitude Journal
• The Joy Plan: How I Took 30 Days to Stop Worrying, Quit Complaining, and Find Ridiculous Happiness
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