When Dreams Don’t Come True: A Story of Starting Over

My husband and I had decided to follow a dream, even though everyone thought we were nuts. Everyone.

We wanted to raise our kids in a different environment than we were living.

A slow, small-town life along the coast in the Pacific Northwest; not our desert dwelling.

We sold our house, my husband quit his good job, we packed up our little girls, and were off. People should follow their dreams, we thought.

We really believed that.

Our perspective changed radically in a short period of time.

Nothing turned out like we planned. There was to have been a job creating a family business waiting for my husband. There wasn’t.

In fact, for months there were no jobs to be had.

This was a logging and fishing community with crippling decreases in productivity. Even a job at the local big box store had almost 50 applicants. And we learned a new term on job interviews, “overqualified”.

For a man willing to work any job to support his family, this was tremendously difficult.

The house we were to stay in and fix up was a complete disaster upon arrival with our moving van. I was in shock that night, and it wasn’t easy to get over.

Coming from suburbia, we didn’t know how high our standards were, until they were stripped away.

We had nowhere else to go.

It would be a whole article just describing the challenges we faced with the house alone. It. was. Bad.

The Impact When Dreams Don’t Come True: How Life Changes

Nothing is unaffected when dreams don’t come true.

Our marriage took a hit also, as relationships tend to do when things are draining on every front. It was in some ways the scariest time of our life.

Wondering if we had lost our minds-if we could provide for our children. Terrifying and helpless.

That dream was not without cost. We, of course, survived. In fact, we thrived, though not in ways expected.

Never financially did we recover, really.

We understand poverty and fear. And we received little support, after all…we brought this one ourselves by chasing a dream. But we did gain some valuable experiences.

We learned to trust God in ways beyond our prior comprehension.

In a nutshell, our children were very happy. We could only live in one room at first, so we created sheet walls and pretended we were camping with our sweet girls.

They thought it was the best game ever! They never knew our crisis, we were blessedly able to shield them from it.

And we worked. My dear sweet husband gave everything he had to make it the best it could be. Starting with a single-wide trailer with add- ons, that was a tall order!

How to Recover After Dreams Don’t Come True

Can you recover from shattered dreams?

Absolutely, always.

My husband finally found work and had to begin a whole new career. At the lowest position possible. And he was thankful. It gave him purpose again.

Our relationship improved as we learned to be a team FOR each other, not against.

We laugh when we watch renovation shows where the couples are so optimistic about how fun it will be.

Call me. Seriously. It is never fun to have electricity crackle in the walls when you turn on light switches and dead animals in the ceilings you find, well, toooooo late.

Practical Steps to Grow After a Dream Fails

There were upsides too. Numerous and amazing experiences. Countless, but here are a few gems:

We could lie in bed at night and hear ocean life. The barking of seals and the gonging of buoys
The abundance of natural beauty was staggering. That part was even better than our dreams. We enjoyed the tide pools, mossy forest hikes, exploring lighthouses, and having constant wind for flying kites along the beach
The community of a small town was everything we hoped for. The people are wonderful and generous
We learned about being grateful for what we have, not wanting more. Not keeping up with the Jones. It is a fine thing to have a beater car and nobody cares. No one. It might be the nicest one around. People like you for you. Metropolis living isn’t always so sincere
For the first time in our lives, living was slow. Really slow. There was nowhere to go, outdoors was our playground and we loved it

Before Chasing Your Dreams

So when we think of following dreams, we weigh the options carefully, understanding that there will be costs somewhere…but then live without fear! Dreaming can equal living when you jump with your eyes wide open.

Looking back now, those little girls have grown into amazing women with families and homes of their own. Watching them build their lives reminds me that the hard seasons don’t define us—they prepare us.

I learned to dream again and to find grace in the journey.

These days, I’m writing on Substack about rediscovering joy on the hard days, cherishing little moments, and crafting a lovely life. No such thing as an ordinary day ♥ {Isaiah 32:18}. If that speaks to you, you can find me here.

May you be blessed in your dream chasing.