Fear of the unknown almost kept me a prisoner

Fear of the unknown almost kept me a prisoner

After getting my first bike in decades, I set a mental goal to be able to ride to our local library.

Imagining the trip was easy. The sun was shining, the warm breeze gently blew my hair away from my face, and I pedaled with delight towards my destination.

Our new community has a lovely paved trail that runs along a dry creekbed, looping out to the major streets. Sidewalks are abundant and each light has a crosswalk.

My husband suggested we set out and try to see how far we could go. Our first journey. The blue sky set the stage for my dream day out.

 

Pushing on when we are scared

When it came time to actually hit the road, I was scared.

Afraid to face the consequences my body has so readily doled out.

Husband/coach encouraged me with some sweet truth. We can turn around at any time. What is the worst that can happen? We stop. 

 

 

Small goals conquer fears

We set a small goal and headed out. For some, health comes at a price, yet it is so worth the cost.

Living with fibromyalgia for almost 2 decades makes a girl cautious.  It broke a piece of this fighter’s spirit.

My brain tried to assess every potential “hill” and talk me out of it. Ticking down the list of potential pitfalls.

However, my adventurous spirit began to come alive,  with each push against my pedals. My seat creaking as I leaned forward, inhaling deeply the desert sage aroma.

The girl who laughed at the wind in her face? She is still me.

But she has been bullied into submission of survival.

Carefully preserving her health and energy for the family and life she so dearly cherishes.

 

 

19 years is enough of fear

This new season, and I’ll write more about this soon, is a season of change. Powered by two specific goals… health and restorative rest.

As my creaking knees forced against my pedals, the slight inclines daring me to give up, I pressed on.

 

 

 At the first tiny hill, my body felt like it couldn’t make it… but it DID. I pressed on with a new confidence! (check out this post by Minimalism Made Simple with 10 steps to overcome your fear of the unknown)

The flat path provided plenty of easy riding, with nothing but the joy of movement to push me.

My sweet coach took turns leading me when he sensed my hesitation, letting me ride ahead while he cruised back a bit, to enjoy this major personal accomplishment.

Mental as much as physical.

A metal white bell sang with joy, as my finger flicked it again and again. My triumphant song.

We made it. 7 miles.

 

 

Did it come at a cost? You betcha. But this year, that is ok. Rest is a gift that I am in an unprecedented season of thriving in.

 This is the year I come fighting, again, against fibro and its dream-killing attacks..

With fresh ideas and functional wellness tools and a fantastic doctor.

I will fight, I will ride, and when I am weak? 

I will rest. With grace and peace.

Philippians 1:6 is our promise, ” And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (ESV)