Talia is a special girl in our family, a personal friend, a BFF of our youngest since they met at 4, someone we’ve known since she was a small girl. Her passion for people…especially her heart for teens…makes her a gem. Forget what you think you know about teens. Welcome our Talia…
Lately, I’ve been wanting to post on here, but have been lacking inspiration. I have no profound words, no inspiring speech, no tried-and-true tactics to share with you.I just have a “personal revelation” of sorts.
It is hard for me to share with you since I am typically not the type of person to share deeply personal matters with others (especially strangers online…hmm…), but I hope you can relate to what I’ve been going through and perhaps learn something from it.
Let me start out by saying that I am an introvert. Sure, I have my extrovert moments (and many of them), but when it comes to preference, I’m alright spending time alone. I don’t have to be with people all the time.
I prefer following others and letting others try something new first before I myself attempt it (with some exceptions). I like other people to ask for things if I need something, etc. etc.
It’s just my personality.
With that said, I am not one to talk about my problems, show my emotions, or wear my heart on my sleeve. If I have problems (which I, of course, DO), I try to solve them myself. If I cry, it is by myself when no one is watching.
But lately, I’ve been learning that it’s okay to just cry. I’ve always known it, but have all the same ignored it. It’s alright to show my emotions. It’s okay to cry, especially in front of family. It’s okay to tell them if I’m going through something hard.
I am the type of person you could compare to, say, a balloon. I bottle up the air (anger, bitterness, tears) and after a while can no longer hold it all in. The air may come out in short puffs (rude remarks, mean talk, etc.), or it may all come out at once. And two days ago, I let it out.
I used to think to myself, If it’s true that some people are like balloons holding air that will all come out soon, then I’m a far overdue balloon. Before Saturday, it’d been months since I’d cried in front of anyone.
I don’t prefer crying in front of others, but I finally couldn’t hold it any longer. I just let it out. I cried, and I told my parents that I was going through some tough stuff, and they were very understanding. (as always).
I guess I have been somewhat afraid of crying in front of others. I am afraid that people will excuse my tears as hormones acting up or grouchiness/moodiness. This drives me absolutely insane.
It makes me want to scream at people that I have actual problems – I’m not just a hormonal female. But, if I screamed at others, they would still consider me a moody female… =D
I’ve been afraid of telling my problems to others. I like to try and solve all of them by myself, and while this works on rare occasion, the problems are never fully resolved.
I always feel guilt, or anger, or sadness unless I tell somebody. Then, instead of solving them, I often just blow up at people in spurts of anger. This, as you have probably assumed, isn’t healthy.
So, it’s okay to cry. It really is.
You may inwardly agree with me but outwardly have no resolve to actually cry. That’s how I used to be. But…I’m not as much like that as I was before. You feel so much better after you just cry and somebody listens and tells you that you can always talk to them, you can always cry.
And if you don’t have anybody in your life that you can just cry to, cry to Jesus. He is always there. He is always your portion. He always has time for you, time to listen to your problems. He always understands you, always knows exactly what you think and feel, and doesn’t think you are just a moody teenager :). He knows that you are a treasure.
So just cry.
You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? – Psalm 56:8
“Why you gotta act so strong? Go ahead and take off your brave face Why you telling me that nothing’s wrong It’s obvious you’re not in a good place Who’s telling you to keep it all inside And never let those feelings Get past the corner of your eye You don’t need to run You don’t need to speak Baby, take some time Let those prayers roll down your cheek It may be tomorrow You’ll be past the sorrow But tonight it’s alright Just cry I know you know your Sunday songs A dozen verses by memory Yeah, they’re good but life is hard And days get long You gotta know God can handle your honesty So feel the things your feeling Name your fears and doubts Don’t stuff your shame and sadness, loneliness and anger Let it out, let it out You don’t need to run You don’t need to speak Baby, take some time Let those prayers roll down your cheek It may be tomorrow You’ll be past the sorrow But tonight it’s alright Just cry Just cry It doesn’t mean you don’t trust Him It doesn’t mean you don’t believe It doesn’t mean you don’t know He’s redeeming everything You don’t need to run You don’t need to speak Baby, take some time Let those prayers roll down your cheek It may be tomorrow You’ll be past the sorrow But tonight it’s alright But tonight it’s alright Just cry Why you gotta act so strong? Go ahead and take off your brave face.” – Mandisa, Just Cry
Hi! I’m Talia. I’m a homeschooled writer, photographer, and dreamer who highly enjoys reading, surfing, Narnia, and burritos from Chipotle Mexican Grill. I have self-published two books, and I dream of “for-real” publishing novels, photography, and poetry (among other dreams). I love writing because it’s a way to convey what you believe and make up interesting characters and stories in which whatever you want to happen will happen. Plus, through writing you can share your experiences, what you have learned, and what God has done in your life! The most important thing you should know about me is that I am a Christian – a born-again daughter of the King of kings. Jesus Christ (God’s one and only Son) is my Savior, and without Him, I’m nothing.
Christa – Thank you for posting Talia’s blog. What an amazing young lady.