She held out the burrito with a pleading look and reprimanding voice. “You can’t have any more chips until you eat your burrito.” He looked at her, spoke defiant two-year-old words, and kept eating the chips.
She, the mom, kept holding out the burrito in the air. Giving up. “Please,” she said. “No more chips.” He stared at her and took another. All the while, the unwanted burrito hung in the air, confused over whether it was to be dinner or a duel.
She was tapped out. Spaced out. Done.
I wanted to go hug her and tell her that life is hard, but this is just a moment. A blip on the mothering screen of raising a child who has learned they have opinions. (And, carefully remove said burrito from her hands.) Those things will get easier.
Why Mom Guilt Feels So Heavy on Hard Parenting Days
Mamas sure do get stretched in all sorts of directions. On any given day, you can be attacked with sticky fingers, kicked with defiant tantrum legs, or teach the same math equation you’ve worked on for four years to no avail.
Dinner can burn despite all the fancy ingredients you bought specially to surprise someone. The smoke alarm can wake the baby you hoped would nap for another 30 minutes so you might shower. An insistent text can make us slap our forehead as we forgot that THIS was our day to drive the carpool.
Life can be really hard for a stretched-too-thin mother. But when we learn to shift perspective a bit, we find that we can end a lousy day with hope instead of defeat.
Fighting and overcoming mom guilt on a bad parenting day
On any given day we are stretched, but we are not alone in it. Mamas bear their overwhelm with a weary silence, just hoping they don’t blow up and show the kids how to really throw a tantrum!
The truth is, those hard days often have so many imperfectly beautiful moments wrapped up in the mundane. Weariness can defeat even the most patient moms, so it’s more than okay to admit that the rest of us get tired too!
That doesn’t have to define your day or your value as a person today. Have you heard the saying, “Failure is an event…not a person”? This day does not define you.
Sometimes all we need is a change of routine to see that things aren’t so bad after all.
Tips to Combat Mom Guilt When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed
Take a Mommy Time Out: Be honest that even grown-ups need a break to regain control of their feelings. Let the tears out if you have them, sit quietly and pray, or just go to the bathroom alone. Whatever helps you take a deep breath. (Read more about mama self-care on Christ Centered Mama)
Change the Scenery: Surprise the kids and go outside for a walk or a park visit. Bring a sketchpad to encourage drawing what you see. Fresh air can distract and refresh everyone.
Turn Up the Music: When the kids are loud, sometimes it’s fun to be louder! Put on music and dance like no one’s watching. Kids love seeing their mom let loose.
Give Kids a Challenge: Ask them to create a new game, maybe tied to a chore. “Once you finish this, it will be SO fun to see what you invent!” It helps them feel special and sparks creativity.
Hold Your Ground: Kids thrive with rules and responsibility. If they’re old enough, chores teach accountability. I learned as a kid that mouthiness often meant more chores. Find what works with your kids — but remember, YOU are in charge.
Put on a Movie or Have a Fort Night: If the day’s been exhausting, show kids how to make a fort or create a “drive-in” night at home. Let them set it up and serve you—it’s a fun change of pace.
Celebrate Small Wins: Make a list of every tiny win from the day. Look at pictures, smile at those little faces, and find two things to love for every rough moment.
Letting Go of Mom Guilt: Your Day Is Redeemable
So, where to go from here on a lousy day? How can you turn the perspective from “worst mother ever” into “pretty good mom”?
Let’s be honest — we’re not perfect. Sometimes mothering brings out our sharp edges. We blow it, our kids are turds, and we wonder what we’re doing or if they’ll turn out alright.
Let go of the pursuit of perfection and settle for being a mom who shows up: A mom who loves fiercely, is funny and adventurous, who dances wildly, and who teaches humility by saying sorry when she blows it.
Stop beating yourself up for not being a superhero. In your kid’s eyes, you already are.
Tomorrow is a new day. Let go of this one so you can embrace hope for the next.
You are amazing because you are real, invested, and beautifully imperfect.
What I’ve Learned as an Imperfect Mom
My girls are grown now, and I’m still learning how to let go. I don’t have it all figured out either. But I do have the gift of perspective I want to share with you.
I’ve cried myself to sleep for being a “crappy mother.” I’ve lost my temper and said the wrong things. But Galatians 6:9 reminds us: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Those moments I saw as failures were just temporary moments — teaching tools. They don’t define me as a mom.
We need to give each other a high five and say, “Way to go!” Your ordinary, imperfect love is powerful.
I’m for you, mama. Share this with another parent who needs hope today.
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Thank you so much! I opened my mail box after having an extremely hard week and another awful day and this inspiring message was waiting for me. This was beautifully written. As mothers we are so hard on ourselves and we need to remember that we are human. You are so right we get stretched too far sometimes in a million directions and it’s hard! I am so grateful for your inspiring words! Thank you!
Kristina, you just made my day. It honestly is really hard to put some things “out there”, but how I WISH I’d had more to read when my kids were young! God bless you and thank you
Thank you so much! I opened my mail box after having an extremely hard week and another awful day and this inspiring message was waiting for me. This was beautifully written. As mothers we are so hard on ourselves and we need to remember that we are human. You are so right we get stretched too far sometimes in a million directions and it’s hard! I am so grateful for your inspiring words! Thank you!
I sent you an email, but oh HOW your words mattered to me today. Thank you
This is such a beautiful reminder that my kiddos don’t need me to be perfect. They need me to love Jesus 💗
Whew, so wise Erin to keep reminding each other. THank you!
I have had many of these days let me tell you! His mercies are new every morning.
Are you like me, that some days you have to remind yourself that includes afternoons and evenings too 😉
Real life mom life – thank you for being refreshingly honest and real. You’re my kind of momma blogger. I’ll be following your posts. 🎉
Kristina, you just made my day. It honestly is really hard to put some things “out there”, but how I WISH I’d had more to read when my kids were young! God bless you and thank you