Protecting your child- Raising G-Rated Kids In An Sex rated world
My heart weighs heavy under deep concern for our nation. Our culture.
I heard a radio snippet today assuring parents that the people who rate movies are reworking the process. The goal is to make it easier for us to help choose movies for our children with greater wisdom.
It is not enough to rate our movies “G” when our kids watch the “X” rated world around us.
I’m no alarmist, check out the facts for yourself. Just in the last few weeks a few startling trends came to my attention:
*A representative of a major US city was on a TV show touting the newest sexual education program coming to their schools. Starting in kindergarten. Their city ranks nearly highest in childhood sexual activity and disease. What disturbed me particularly, was the potential for desensitizing kids to know that what is harmful to them might be disguised as “normal”.
*Another person told me about her local sex Ed program where 2nd graders are preparing to learn about the details they “need” to know- — I was shocked to hear that even anal sex would be covered. 2nd graders. The parent was infuriated and went to the school and was shut right down, the “rights” seem to be shifting from parental choice to school mandated programs.
*Several articles I have read (when I find them I will cite them) have discussed these new trends. Parents’ wishes to view materials in advance rejected.
*Assaults on teen girls by groups of boys. Sometimes the girls are conscious, other times not. Always tragic. And the kids think it is fun to post the pictures on social media.
*In the US, someone is sexually assaulted every few minutes. Is this highly sexualized culture really producing the freedom we thought it would?
*People are stolen and sold, right under our noses
What can parents do to protect their child?
These are just a few of the things, all relating to our new sexual reality.
We rate our movies “G” and produce images that would have been considered pornographic in recent history for all our children to see.
Ads, commercials, songs. Listen to the words of the music your child chooses. You might be shocked. I know I was. Sit down with your kids and discuss these things, it might be awkward, but worthwhile.
Again, I am so far from a prude, but those painful mistakes and wrongs against me deserve to be lessons learned from. Not forgotten.
I am not anti-sexuality, I am anti-indoctrination
I think it is a wondrous gift….When we choose it and are old enough to understand what we are dealing with. Agreed, times are changing and things are not easily dealt with.
I might lose readers over this post. It is hard to hear the unpleasant pieces. Trust me, this is not easy to write. It pains me greatly, and comes with personal risk.
If you share my frustrations, please forward this to as many people as you know. Share it on social media.
Moral relativism, if followed through in a logical argument, does not seem to hold up. What is right for one person might be very wrong for someone else.
If we say we believe it, would we still if our child was the one being wronged for someone else’s right? Hardly.
Why is it important to protect a child?
We don’t claim to have all the answers, only one. We will not be silent.
We feel powerless, but we aren’t! Historically, sweeping changes were brought about by small numbers.
You love your children. Your sisters and brothers. Your nieces and nephews.
Don’t believe that the innocence of a child is an antiquated idea, we can start by talking.
So now what?
Let’s engage in dialogue. And then, action.
What will you do to begin to fight back against this shifting sexual landscape today? With your children? In your community, school, church, synagogue, etc?
Resources to encourage you:
- Midnight Mom Devotional: 365 Prayers to Put Your Momma Heart to Rest
- Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms
- Fierce Faith: A Woman’s Guide to Fighting Fear, Wrestling Worry, and Overcoming Anxiety
- Guilt-Free Mommy: Insights and Tools to Overcome Mommy Guilt
- Disclosure: I only recommend products I do/would use myself. This post may contain affiliate links that at NO additional cost to you, may earn me a small commission to help support this blog. Read full privacy policy here.
Part of the challenge is that historically churches teach children, youth and parents that abstinence is the key. I don’t disagree that sex inside marriage is God’s best plan, so to call this a full teaching on sexual purity is a joke. As a man who was a virgin on my wedding night, I can tell you it took a LOT more than knowing I needed to wait. It took an understanding of what choices will get me in trouble a willingness to let others hold me accountable, and the luck of finding my wife early in life.
I’ve started having very open conversations with my boys about their sexuality. We talk about what makes a girl cute, what it means to them to want to be with a girl, choices to maintain PURITY, not virginity. Sometimes I initiate; other times, they bring it up.Like most things, I believe the key is dialogue.
That’s why I am so happy you posted this Christa. I hope it creates another opportunity to talk openly about sexuality
Chris, we are blessed by your open dialogue here. Thank you for your perspective as a man, a father.
Christa, these are important things to be talking about. Thanks for being brave enough and willing enough to begin a conversation.
Thank YOU for being part of it
This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. Your article is so ON POINT! I’m working on a blog post now for a series I’m doing in May and it saddens me to write about 8th grade girls who think that sex is high school is normal, expected and inevitable. You’re right! It only takes small numbers to start a movement. Thank you for speaking out and doing your part….
Please let me know when your series comes out, I would love to read them. Thanks Jackie
For what it’s worth, we don’t have TV. Well, we have a box, and we can get netflix, play Wii, and watch DVDs. I think the old 80’s cartoons are the sexiest things my kids have seen with any focus. That’s not to say we don’t have to walk past Victoria’s Secret to get to Cartoon Cuts, but at least that’s contextual and I can say something like “it’s a fancy undies store for women,” or, “there are lots of stores for lots of different people, but that store isn’t for us.”
Of course, my kids are still young (my eldest is 6), so we’ll see how this goes…
So glad you shared with us Shannon…
My son shared how he and his wife have prepared our grandson for a changing body that he doesn’t yet understand. I marvelled at their sensitivity and honesty. I can’t tell you how thankful I am that my own children have all decided to homeschool their children.
Parents must be willing to take a stand and be the voice of their children. It will not go away. It is all in Satan’s plan.
I hear you Shelley. It is so difficult to have these conversations with our kids. My kids sometimes are shocked when I tell them the world their school friends are dealing with in regard to sexuality. Homeschooling isn’t perfect, of course, but I can say that the kid’s homeschool friends almost all come at this from a completely different angle. They are influenced to stay their ground, and respect their bodies. We have great compassion for kids who don’t understand that message fully. I can only pray that I will have been a strong enough influence as I raise my own.
My husband has a talk with the boys when they get to a certain age and I have a talk with the girls. Well, I did have to have a homeschool lesson on the subject of how babies were made but I kept it pretty much rated PG and when I got to the point that my children said, “Okay. We get it. We can wait to find out the rest.” I stopped. We don’t watch T.V. besides well selected DVDs but not regular Television. Now I’m going to share this post.
I appreciate you sharing Anastacia, truly
Christa, it takes a lot of courage to speak up against the prevailing culture and I applaud you for doing that. I don’t know how people can condone abortion and promiscuity, and be surprised when the result is murder and rape. As you point out, it is so hard to fight the scourge of sex trafficking when the entertainment media is peddling every kind of deviance we never imagined. Boys and girls have to hear from us that no one is a sexual object. Good job friend.
Amen Kathleen
Christa,
Good for you for speaking up about what others are thinking about. Because I don’t watch TV, other than a few favorite shows, I am amazed at how quickly TV has spiraled down. And like the proverbial frog in water, it has been subtle.
As far as the schools not allowing the parents to look over what will be taught to their children. Well, that will probably produce more homes who will make changes and homeschool. Or, parents will rise up and protest. Either way, it is NOT the time to be silent. As I shared with others the book I am working on to inform girls about unhealthy relationships, I found it interesting how everyone kept telling me, “go younger, go younger.” Kids are growing up way too fast.
That pains my heart to have to gear your book to younger girls, yet I know this to be true. I still had such innocence as a young girl. And that was in the 70’s, where sexuality was clearly popular. I pray your book reaches your intended target group in a powerful way
Christa – your post is right on. (Excuse that bit of antiquated terminology). I don’t have children, but I believe parents need to be open and honest. Unfortunately the “talk” must come earlier and earlier as our society has changed. In generations past, talk of sex was brushed aside. We can’t do that any more. Children have to be informed (the right way, not the way schools teach.)
I know you were fearful of writing this, but I applaud you.
Thank you Joan…appreciate your visit
You are so correct, Christa. It grieves me to try and raise children in the world today. When I had a daughter, it was a constant struggle to even find decent clothes for her to wear that were modest yet in style. Now that I am raising sons, I am so aware of the constant inappropriate visual images they are exposed to. I go into stores and have to tell them to avert their eyes. In the checkout I always turn around the magazines (especially Cosmopolitan) that have horrible images and words on the front of them. It is hard. I am weary of the things even on Facebook that come up in my newsfeed with inappropriate language on them. Words and images I don’t want in MY head, no to mention my boys. Keep speaking the truth in love Christa. We must continue to take a stand.
Thank you April, I have heard from several friends with sons as well. They, like you, struggle to keep the visual ads from their children’s eyes. It must be challenging to teach young men to respect women as more than sexual objects when that is the main selling point for popular products. Appreciate you weighing in
Hi Christa–wonderful message. I think that you are onto something with the moral relativism that is so prevalent in our society. Coupled with evolutionary, survival of the fittest teachings and it’s no wonder the headlines are what they are.
I think that Chris is also correct in that dialogue is key. I have been talking quite openly with my kids since they were old enough to ask questions. I try to give them real-life, rational reasons to practice purity. I have one daughter ‘courting’ and a teenage son who averts his eyes when needed. They will not do it all perfectly, of course, but they have thoughtful reasons and goals for how to walk this sexuality thing the healthiest way that they can.
The question is, how to engage in thoughtful dialogue regarding sexuality with people who do not believe in an all-wise God who gives us sexual guidelines for our greatest good? Very difficult.
Well done in standing up on this issue.
Rebeca, I remember wanting to shrink away with embarrassment when I started having those talks with the kids. It is hard, we have to force ourselves to give the important information as a foundation. Because surely, someone else will be glad to do it for us
I, too, appreciate your blog on this topic, Christa. It seems like this is a huge battle being fought uphill. And, it really is. But, that can’t deter us from standing up for what is right, both morally and Biblically. I have two teens and a tween and my husband and I started having “talks” with them when they were very little (preschool age), starting with explaining what inappropriate touch is and, as they got older, going into detail about our bodies, puberty, procreation, pornography, dating, marriage, and much more. It’s not just one talk, it’s an ongoing dialogue, in order to instill it in their hearts as a core belief. My passion has always been for the plight of children and the prevention of child abuse and I worked in that field for a time before beginning to homeschool. Really, the way in which media, our government, and many individuals have preyed upon our children, in the way of indoctrination through sex education in the schools, the film industry, the television industry, magazines and advertising industries, pornography industry, liberal news media, and political issues such as abortion, the definition of marriage, gay/lesbian rights, etc, can all be labeled under child abuse. And, all those lead to further abuse. But, the abuse doesn’t end when you grow up. We are all continually subjected to these things as they are thrown in our faces day in and day out everywhere we go. So, even if you do homeschool your kids and get rid of cable TV (we’ve done that, too), how do you effectively prepare your kids to enter the world as adults? Our kids will go off to college and likely experience the “sex weeks” that are occurring in a majority of universities across the nation, where they are not only “educated” in all things sexual, but encouraged to experiment. We do have to have regular and candid (appropriate for their age) talks with our kids and we must reach their hearts. It isn’t enough to tell them something is wrong or to scare them with the idea of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. As someone stated earlier, it is more important to emphasize purity as opposed to virginity. And purity is not only physical, but emotional and intellectual, as well. The key to reaching our childrens’ hearts lies in grounding our children, the entire family, in God’s Word. Again, thanks for prompting this discussion! I very much enjoy your blog!
Rachel, I appreciate so much the time you took to share your perspective here. I have not heard of “sex” weeks, and I continue to learn more each day. THank you for sharing
Don’t forget the Internet influence. Don’t think that because your daughter or son is strong that they won’t be caught in this. Consider getting an Internet protection program.
One part of sexuality that was pointed out to me by someone is that the church and Christians teach purity and abstinence so much that if a child “messes up” they feel dirty. They leave the church because they don’t teach what to do if you didn’t stay pure. (I know there are a few programs that say “start over as if today were the first day.” But I’ve never heard this part of it taught.)
Purity includes thoughts as well as Jesus taught if you just look at a woman to lust after her you have committed adultery. This would be true with pornography.
We need to teach the full picture of purity as Chris stated. This includes, what do you do if you messed up?
http://www.ultimateescape.org/parents/page/steve_holladay – Here is a program that actually goes into churches to teach about purity.
I find that deeply sad that Grace is left out of the equation when teaching kids about life. Having learned so many things the hard way, I am delighted to see in my life (along with ALL of my friends) what God can do when we meet him in the ugly. Thanks for sharing your resource
I am behind on reading this article. It is so important to be our children’s primary influence in this area. Not always easy, but I know that whatever effort it takes it is worth it.
I commend you, Christa, for the way you comment with such grace and love. You are a woman after God’s own heart.
Never behind, the material is always here ready for you. Thank you so much, I trip along the way but keep trying 🙂 Love, Christa