Personal connections- 50 questions that build bonds with people
Personal connections- 50 questions that build bonds with people you want to know better
My grandpa wasn’t one for sharing his story.
As one of 10 kids in the depression, he was extremely private about the hardships of his early years. One day I came to visit, with questions and a tape recorder. He reluctantly agreed to be interviewed. And so we sat, his curious granddaughter and her grandpa who loved her enough to finally open up on tape.
It wound up being the last visit we would ever have.
There are so many people I wish I’d asked more questions of that it is too late now. People have so many stories that we miss out on but not knowing what to ask. And those people, are the foundations of our stories too.
To help combat those regrets, I created a list called of targeted questions to increase the depth of our relationships.
Personal connections help us gain wisdom and give love
Our aging loved ones are some of our greatest sources of wisdom and experience, and they want to share with us. Giving their perspective.
A friend once told me that with all the busyness of life, her elderly mother said that once you get old, you have nothing but time. And nobody wants to share it with you. That, is an unnecessary tragedy.
In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.- Alex Haley
Let’s enjoy people with intentional relationships. Questions are a wonderful way to get started. Unsure where to start?
Enjoy this free PDF: 50 questions that build connections with people you want to know better to get the conversation started.
Look for connections to your own life, listen thoughtfully, preserve the heritage of story…
P.S. This is my grandpa joining the Navy at age 17, in 1941
Resources to create personal connections:
- Faithful Grandparenting: Practical Ideas for Connecting the GenerationsÂ
- Memories for My Grandchild: A Keepsake to Remember
- Letters to My Grandparent: Write Now. Read Later. Treasure Forever
- When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
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Christa,
Howdy! Love, LOVE your list of 40 questions! Great resource to help upstream people connect with, relate to, and get to know downriver folks. We’re all in the river, just “put in” at different points, ya know? Such value in listening to and learning from the lives and stories of people who’ve been floating down the river of life longer than us! Taking the time not only to listen to them, but also to write down their stories and pssst! pass ’em on, holds potential to leave such a positive legacy.
Some of my favorite experiences with my grandparents and also my mom have been face-to-face and/or phone conversations where I asked questions (such as the ones you suggested). My grandparent(s) shared. Then I either took handwritten notes or typed their responses on my laptop. I have also done this with older women in a Bible study I participated in years ago. They shared key to marriage, motherhood, etc. and talked about traditions while I took notes.
Will save your list in my Evernote! Thanks again. 🙂
Shannon, thanks for giving examples of how you have lived this out. I LOVE when older women share their lives that way. Too often we hear “Oh, who wants to hear that…” We do, the younger. And as I age, entering a new stage 🙂
“…being more intentional in relationships” – I, too, have found myself as the years click away finding this to be a passion of my own. How many have already gone before me that I missed the opportunity to get to know deeper – to go beyond the superficial-every-day-chatter of the now. My parents are gone, but when our Emma was very young we gave my husband’s mom a book filled with questions like you post here for us. She spent the years filling in the blanks, sharing her past…her wisdom….on those pages. When she went on to be with the Lord years ago what a treasure that book was to find! In the hustle of life I had forgotten that gift given to her many years before, but thankfully she had not. Each page filled with her thoughts and sharing for our Emma (and for us!)……getting to know Grandma on a deep and intimate level – to see the paths God led her on through her life journey. A treasured gift.
Live and love intentionally…..
Cyndi that is such a treasure! I bought those when the girls were little to fill out. They sit empty, still. The ones I bought for my mom and Grandma never were returned to me. Maybe I will get lucky too. I am so glad for you…
I bought one of those books Cyndi referred to. Filled it out almost completely, then decided to buy a second one as well. And a book for my husband to fill out. I love the wisdom of the elderly. Good post, Christa. Great reminder.