creating happy childhood memories
creating happy childhood memories
Honey, wake up–I have something I want to show you…
How many nights did I wake up my children to watch a lightning storm too magnificent to sleep through?
How many puddles did I not only encourage them to jump in, but even sometimes joined them?
How many blankets were slipped over shoulders as I led them out to see a bright star?
How many tiny canvases of nature did I point out as we walked along?
Yet, sometimes I wonder if they will remember those moments.
Will they remember the magic over the mothering, that required me to stand firm?
The hard times were only a page in the story
Will they remember the moments over the young mom who had to learn to control her temper, struggle through depression, deal with chronic pain?
Will they remember how in our humblest circumstances we hooked sheets to the ceiling, created a “room” for their bunk beds as our bed lay on the other side of the sheets?
With our surroundings mostly shoved into the same room because the house we just moved into was falling apart around us.
Unsafe. Unsanitary.
Will they remember that we told them how FUN it was to pretend we were camping the house and that we laughed as we tucked them in each night?
Because on the dark nights of parenting, when we can’t sleep wondering how we did, I have doubts.
If creating memories with our kids would be enough…
What will their childhood memories be?
Will they remember how through the many undesired moves we taught them life is an adventure?
That God always, always has a plan, even when things are scary. And that we always were a family, and that was enough.
Will they carry that with them?
Because on the dark nights of parenting, I wonder if it was enough. We tried so very hard, but was it enough?
As our kids enter adulthood themselves, sometimes my nerves try to shake me a bit. Questioning the things these young people will take away. All parents make mistakes, and we have certainly made our share.
But my deepest hope, my true and deepest hope, is that they’ll remember the lightning. The puddles. The spirit of wonder and adventure. That time will soften the harder edges of our mistakes.
That they’ll leave home having felt safe. Loved. That they’ll know how much we invested into learning to parent the best we could.
Most of all, that they’ll remember how we told them that family is enough.
That home is always going to be a sanctuary for them. And that God always, always has a plan. Even when things get scary.
P.S. Need some great resources for this journey? Check these out
- Memory Making Mom
- The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming ( Sally Clarkson is SO encouraging)
- Awaking Wonder
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Oh my goodness yes Christa, I can relate to your questions and concerns. I think every parents hopes that their children will “walk away” from home with happy memories tucked deep into their hearts and minds.
And if they don’t? If they have trouble remembering the night skies and adventurous moments? You remind them. Remind them of the wonder of the moments shared, the times you laughed (and cried) together as a family and how those moments impacted *you*.
Then remind yourself that you’re a great mom. Because you are <3
Beautiful and wise words Caryn!
Yes, Christa is a great mom! Most moms are.
I got caught in my own thoughts below and forgot to write about our sessions of memory sharing, family, movies, and photos. A lot of fun that shows the loving and fun times in the family
Blessings of love and joy!
You are a wise woman Caryn, amen!
A beautiful post, Christa!
These questions preoccupied me a great deal, many years back; especially since it was not easy with 3 children within 10 months when I was only 20 years old, and then had another one soon after.
I was too young for such a responsibility, but I held my family together and gave myself to all of them, despite the fact that life in a strange place was not easy for quite a few years. Having being raised by the most wonderful parents, I had a good foundation and few other great role models.
When I apologize now to my kids for not always handling well their childish arguments and fights, they laugh and hug be, and tell me that they turned such “good” people because of our strictness on some issues and love and good examples on so many more. Because of the way they live their life, their love, attitude, and ways they bring up their own children, and the ethics and values in all aspects of their life, I know they remember all worth remembering.
Now, I ask the same questions about my grandchildren. Will they remember our times together, what we did, and what we talked about? I gave them so much more than I did to my children, because of more free time with them— they lived next to us and behind and their parents picked them up at the end of the day. I am not forgetting either that I was much wiser at 50 than in my twenties.
We spent full days together for years; days given to them completely, doing art and crafts, cooking and washing pots and pans for hours. We made bread and used the dough to create flowers and children dancing, decorated pumpkins, went on nature walks and parks, reflected in our garden, read “17” books a day and not one less, wrote together, talked and created rituals. We spend hours in tents made with sheets and chairs, often keeping them up for days. We played games and assembled small and big puzzles…put together mechanical toys…went shopping, to movies, recitals, and theatrical presentations. We visited older neighbors and brought food or bread to them, kept them company and sang for them. We sang and danced a lot, even in our church for the 25th of March national celebration. and climbed our pear tree…which they still do. 🙂
With the children in Greece, we had only the summer months, but we made the best of that time. Letters, cards, and care packages made up for the time we were apart. When there, especially with the first one, who is now eighteen, we did a lot, both in Athens where they live and in my hometown area. We haven’t left a mountain that we did not climb, a river, and a spring nearby that we did not have fun with. His sense of adventure is very keen as is the love and values he obtained from the way we handle life; the good and happy parts, but mostly how we deal with hardships.
Like our children, the grandchildren will remember too. If not everything, at least what matters the most: The love for and within the family, the importance of loving, carrying for and sacrificing for each other; that love and closeness brings strength; that integrity, values, and ethics make life worth living; that compassionate builds spiritual muscle besides the fact that the more you give the more you get; They will always appreciate the power of reading and learning, the results of disciple of hard work. I hope that they will never stop trusting God and always have Him a big part of their life.
Thanks for giving me the chance to share!
My beautiful Christa!
Rest assure our children and grandchildren will remember some of the things we did, good and bad, and will forget others. I do. I know you do too. That is human nature: to forget or forgive and grow from there. Sadly, some cannot do it and carry a heavy weight with them. The most important thing, is that young people will keep learning from parents and other adults… and our growing wisdom… for as many years as we have, They get the basics when they are young, The older they grow, the more their soul craves wisdom, and so they look for it and find it, not so much in our words but in our actions; in the way we grow and mature, in our attitude about commitment, gratitude, generosity, respect, faith, and trust; in how we deal with the grown-up children and grandchildren, other people, life and its joys and pains; with the world.
I believe that our children and grandchildren will be even better than us.
Love you. Christa!
God bless you and your family!
Oh Katina! Your response just brought me to tears. Thank you SO much for sharing so deeply from your own heart and experience. These words are just pure and beautiful. I was with you, seeing into your life. Anyone who reads these words will be blessed indeed. You inspire me, truly and deeply!
Love you friend
You have a way, Christa, drawing out of me heartfelt responses! That’s a great gift!
Thank you for giving me the chance to jot down some thoughts that I might include in my memoir. I was thinking to have the children write one or two memories they have of our time together and include them also in that book.
You are special, and I love you too! A lot!
You wanted a comment, Christa! I wrote a post! Feel free to delete!
Delete? No WAY. I think you should post the entire thing somewhere. MOMS NEED TO HEAR THESE WORDS
I thought about it. I copied and saved as something to work on.
It was very sweet of you to post, but I don’t think my friends can see anything you post.
Take good care!
Your daughters are blessed to have you!
It’s a beautiful post! Family is really everthing and God indeed always has a plan!
Thanks for reading Mariam, and amen!