Managing emotions on the struggle bus

Managing emotions isn’t for quitters! Nothing feels stronger than feelings without a voice.

The last months have been so full of feelings, many held captive. I’ve driven a struggle bus, each passenger wanting to give me directions to a place that wasn’t on the route.

Empathy, in the front row. Determined to help everyone feel comfortable while being unsure how to make it happen. Pain, she rides daily right behind the driver’s seat, the most obnoxious of the passengers. Always trying to tell me what to do.

Joy, smiling out the window with delight over the simplest things.  Motivation, having a moment. Deciding she is refusing to get off at her stop until things calm down. Curiosity, insatiable, and always wanting to check out every stop.

Passion, waving her flag with love and standing up when the others tell her to sit. Love, moving from row to row to ask how she can help. Offering her open arms to whomever needs a soft place to land.

Attention, bouncing from seat to seat trying to make sense of each wonderful idea and gaining too many new ones so that her bag of ideas groans at the straps.  Creativity, drawing blanks, and forgetting her destination as the other voices were more demanding.

Every emotion equal, important and wanting to be heard and let off at the correct stop. But as life would have it, speedbumps have shaken a few things up. These passengers sometimes got mixed up and into each other’s spaces. Having to dust themselves off and recenter.

It is time to get off.

Struggle bus- a situation, task, etc., that seems difficult or frustrating

How can we manage our emotions?

The struggle bus is only meant to be a temporary means of transportation, and I know many of you, my beloved friends, don’t know how. 

Let’s look at some ways to help you disembark…

1. Ask for help. The greatest disservice we do to ourselves, and others, is to stuff our needs down and give the standard answer of “fine”, when we are anything but. Stop doing this, please. Give your voice what it needs and let it out. It is poison inside to neglect to let people love us well and help us along. We cheat people with gifts to love us through service, an ear to hear, a literal answer to prayer when we aren’t honest with our needs. That lie you picked up somewhere about how weak people ask for help? Let it go, It doesn’t serve you and it is much better replaced by the truth of community
2. Ask yourself, what is it I want to change? Accomplish? Be specific, and honor it by writing it down. Speaking it aloud. Then find the people that will help you with accountability, action step ideas, and sounding boards with fresh ideas
3. Become a possibilitarian. Have you heard this term? It resonated with me because I LIVE with the ever-present hope of possibilities. You too can become someone who sees the world through the lens of hope, retraining your mind to say “what if?”, and “why not?”. Question the premises that limit those dreams and get them down on paper. Tell someone you trust. You know what? There is a good chance those people already SEE those in you and have been waiting for you to be ready. This part is so much fun. Don’t stress if it doesn’t feel natural at first, some of you, my sweet friends, were told the opposite growing up. Today I encourage you to own your dreams again. They belong to you and you were created with a purpose. Embrace it!
4. Pick one thing. Our brains get bogged down when we want to do ALL the things and we perhaps get stuck in the quicksand of indecision. What I did is join a Mastermind Group run by Christa at Do A New Thing. She has given me amazing tools and her job is to reign me in and give me tools that keep me laser-focused. I too got mired down, but she is working to help me narrow down and reduce to the ONE THING again. And the community is priceless! That is how we make steps forward…

(free printable of these steps here)

Managing emotions in a healthy way

Can I share a secret with you? The writer in me has been in a place of struggle. She cares so much about the encouragement she hopes to impart to you, that sometimes it leaves her paralyzed.

People can forget I am just a person, like you, living a world that requires us to experience it and learn from it. I have many wonderful OTHER areas, but this…the place I need to get unstuck, is with my writing.

Writing is how I know what I am thinking. It is my calling. So here, I choose to be vulnerable.

(Do you struggle with anxiety? I am enjoying a book called Breath as Prayer. You can check it out here if interested. Also, have you tried coloring books to redirect your emotions?)

Managing emotions as an HSP

As an HSP (read more about Highly Sensitive People here), I feel ALL THE FEELS. Mine, yours, strangers on the bus. People think they hide feelings, but God created me to sense them all.

I am prone to sensing every change in mood, setting, emotion…from everyone. Always.

I’ve learned to celebrate it, yet also, to set boundaries, and for a season, to withdraw from extraneous input. Even good things. Needing time to reset, release and recover.

White space is imperative when we are healing and processing and growing and changing. Pockets of time carved out to turn off the noise and just be.

Progress over perfection to manage your emotions

You too might have been struggling under the weight of all the feels.

There is a great thought school that loosely teaches that progress is more desirable than perfection, but perfection-based living will surely stifle all the progress.

Amen and Amen, let’s do this together. Progress is the goal, not an ever-moving target of perfection. That personal vulnerability I shared? Today is my progress over perfect post.

Good enough helps manage emotions

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.   For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

Everything doesn’t have to be our best, but we can cultivate a life of forward motion by still offering ourselves. Just as we are…

Today is the day to get off the struggle bus, I believe in you.

Would you do me a favor? If you enjoy this piece, please share with a friend. Word of mouth means so much! God bless you today, and always as you mange those emotions!

Resources to help manage your emotions

• Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World    (ps, I am an HSP, are you?)
• Mood Flip Book – Help Kids to Identify and Manage Their Emotions
• Peace with the Psalms: 40 Readings to Relax Your Mind and Calm Your Heart
• Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms
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