Does a negative body image affect your marriage? Yes!

Dear woman who struggles with her self-image,

You, who encourage so many, sometimes fail to extend that love to yourself. due to feeling uncomfortable in your own skin; self-critical of the perceived flaws in your body.

I see you as you walk, adjusting your clothes. I see you as you pass the mirror, leaning in for a disgusted assessment of what reflects back at you.

Thing is, I don’t just see you, I’ve been you. Sometimes, I still have to fight it.

There is something we don’t talk about, and it is important. That struggle we think only harms us? Not true.

Whatever body image struggle we have impacts people we love, particularly our husbands.

Insecurity about the body we live in, whether it be the size of our nose or the shape of our hips, steals the potential from our story.

Understanding the Root of Body Image Struggles

Body image issues started when at a young age. I remember being aware that I was different, fat, and ugly as young as second grade (lies).

Those labels stuck with me and played themselves out repeatedly as a teen, a young bride, and now a long-married woman.

Seriously, decades passed for me to see the true effect that my own internal struggle had on my marriage.

You can DO this, change these patterns, but first, it helps to understand just how our body image issues impact our spouse…

How Negative Body Image Impacts Your Marriage

The elephant in the room isn’t us– If our spouse talked the day after month after year, about the size of his butt, would it grow old to us? What if they constantly lamented over the size of their belly or chin? It is hard for someone to ignore what we constantly complain about (trust me on this one…)
We stifle our physical freedom- When we see our body as flawed, we unconsciously inhibit the joy available to us in the, ahem, bedroom. Intimacy is a gift. It is hard to exchange that with someone when we are focused on what is wrong instead of what is right
Our partner is powerless– When we let our body image issues take control of our life, we steal our partner’s ability to express themselves freely. We listen to the lies that shout for our attention, over the truth that comes from the mouth of the one who loves us. They can’t say anything “right” that quiets the inner battle. Our struggle has become one they don’t know how to fight, and it hurts them to see us suffer

Hope for healing negative body image issues

There is hope for real, lasting change about body image struggles. Fantastic news. Consequently, this can change. We can change!

Girls, I have been fighting this battle for my entire life, and it can be won!

Lana Del Rey has a song, Young and Beautiful, that says “Will you still love me when I’m no longer young, and beautiful?”

The first time I heard it, I cried at this line. At the way, my soul recognized it, as my own marital heart cry.

When I asked my husband about it?

He laughed, and said, “Um, of course. You do know, don’t you, that I am getting older along with you? I just see you, not your wrinkles.”

Is that hard to believe as a woman? Yep. But I fight hard to own this every single day.

Your husband likely sees that. Does he want your body?

Heck yes, but what he wants MORE? Is who you are on the inside.

Fight the battle, and your personal victory will become your spouse’s victory as well. You both win.

What I learned about negative body image issues

Body image impacts our marriage IF we don’t see our spouse’s perspective.

He doesn’t see the flaws we see- What our spouse sees? It is likely the things that make us beautiful in their eyes
He can’t fix the pain caused by someone else’s words- How my marriage changed when I stopped assigning the source of pain to my husband. Also, It wasn’t him who ever spoke or implied them, why should he pay?

We are wanted for the million reasons that make up who we are! Yet, we miss them because the lies are louder than the love. As a result, let’s demolish the lies and change that.

Steps to Overcome Negative Body Image in Marriage

What makes a woman beautiful? Personally, I’d start by telling each of you how beautiful you are.

How your bright eyes or quirky smile or weighted hips make you just right. Regardless of whether you only see stretch marks, saggy butts or deflated boobs due to oh, bringing a human into the world….

Sister puh-leeze! You are a woman. Unique, imperfect, and therefore beautiful.

Enjoy a free gift of this printable prayer for victory, Would you like to download a copy?

Download your free printable prayer for victory over negative body image here! And would you do me a favor and share this today to keep the encouragement going? Thank you!